In patriarchal societies, it’s hard to gauge what your limits are as a woman in accordance to men.
As a woman, you are generally expected to shrink the space in which your ambitions can grow; each step forward beside a man can feel like bumping against a rigid wall. This confinement is strategic as societal imagined gender orders create the outline of what a woman should be rather than what she is. Cultural influences then build on these orders creating layers to oppression.
Nonetheless, women seek to be heard and respected.
In contemporary cultural narratives, we see figures like Michelle Obama and Ayesha Curry striving to be recognized as multifaceted women; individuals whose ambitions and identities extend beyond the shadows of their husbands. Globally, we see women like Citra Sasmita reclaiming traditional Balinese art forms that center powerful female figures . In 2019, we witnessed Sudanese women rally against Sharia law through varied protests. Women everywhere are challenging patriarchal norms, asserting their voices, and demanding the right to participate in society without fear of repression.Which leads me to ask:
When will reverence not require submission and sacrifice from women?
Women and Religion:
Men are only expected to submit to religion; everything they submit to after that is a choice. Women, however, must submit to both men and religion, a double burden. This is mainly true for Middle Eastern and African countries where “Sharia Law” and its interpretations dominate. In these cases, women are only able to work in “acceptable” higher education fields such as some aspects of medicine, education, and social work (Robinson, n.d.).
Women’s obedience to male power is mediated through religion, which dictates the interpretation of what is proper faith and practice. Whereas a man is only required to pray and follow religious orders, a woman is required to do all of those things and obey her husband’s interpretation of how she should behave. This dynamic places men in positions of authority within faith, making them the gatekeepers of religion and leaving women to bear the double burden of obedience and devotion.
The Penalty of the Powerful Woman:
Society’s imagined order of gender norms prescribes that men should embody dominance and authority in the workplace. Women should, according to society, embody support, nurture and submission. Once a woman decides for herself that she wants to, similar to men, excel in a career, or possess a will stronger than a man (as if strength were theirs to measure), then she becomes less desirable.
A book titled “Research in Organizational Behavior” describes the effects of a concept called ‘Backlash’, in the workplace, “ The prescriptive nature of gender stereotypes can result in negative reactions to female agency and authority (i.e., backlash). This dilemma has serious consequences for gender parity, as it undermines women at every stage of their careers” (Rudman & Phelan, 2008, p. 28). ‘Backlash’ is the threat an ambitious woman holds to the masculinity of a man. The paradox is that women who embody traits that are celebrated in men are often denied marriage because they do not conform to submissive roles, which is a myth. A woman is more than capable of being a breadwinner and a supportive partner complemented by equivalent strengths in her spouse.
The Penalty of the Submissive Woman:
Far too often, I observe women sacrificing their ambitions to advance those of their husbands. In doing so, they’ve learned to exchange their careers for a home. While I do not question their happiness, I cannot be certain they do not yearn for a deeper sense of fulfillment. After all, a woman’s passion never dies, her will may bend, but it can never be broken, only altered.
Yet, in this bending, the penalty of submission emerges: polite brilliance and moderated ambition. A submissive woman may never see her dreams realized if her spouse’s will dictates otherwise. And most tragically, the moment she begins to step into her own potential, her companionship may no longer be reciprocated, again, according to her spouse’s will.
Ultimately, it should not take a man to decide for a woman whether or not her will is worth pursuing.
Final Remarks:
Across the nation women navigate a complex web of expectations, where submission to men is primary, and has been perpetuated for centuries. However, the persistence to be heard and respected is proof that submission cannot extinguish potential, only alter it. The question remains urgent:
When will reverence not require submission and sacrifice?
The answer lies in the assertion of presence and power. Women need not wait for permission to pursue their own journeys.
I am not against love or marriage, but those two things do not require the exchange of a woman’s will. When society across the globe begins to acknowledge women as fully capable, only then will women be given the “right” to fully present and act on their wills. Women’s rights is a never-ending effort, because until women are viewed as capable from Iran to Sudan and back to the U.S., no woman can claim full agency anywhere.
Delivered by Foutoumata Traore
